As I sat husbandless in Sacrament meeting today, I pulled out my calendar to add a few activities that were listed in the ward bulletin. As I quickly reviewed the hundreds of activities already lined up for the week, I really began to ponder this whole motherhood idea. Have you ever seen the movie "The Birds"? It is some creepy show my mom watched once when I was little. Anyway, this huge flock of birds come and peck people to death. That is all I really remember about the movie... I'm sure there was some beautiful love story in it, or else my mom wouldn't have watched it. Anyway, I compare having children sometimes to this idea of being pecked to death. The constant whinings (peck), needs for attention (peck, peck), dirty clothes, rooms, and bodies (peck, peck), helping with homework, scouts, sports (peck), cooking dinner and before the dishes are even cleaned up hearing "I'm starving" (peck). The list can go on and on. I know each of you mothers have your own list. As I struggled keeping Grant quiet, Garrett from annoying his brother, and Gracie from kissing every square inch of my body (including my hair), I asked myself, "Why did I ever think motherhood was such a great idea? And why did I then think it was a great idea TWO more times????". Well, I am not crazy. I am somewhat educated (although some of my co-workers do not consider a degree from BYU "proper education"). I didn't eat paint chips as a child. So, I sat pondering the question, why did I have children? Wow, and then something amazing happened. The primary children went up to sing a little medley of the typical Mother's Day songs. You know the ones they sing every year, Mother Dear I Love You So, When My Mother Calls Me, and Love is Spoken Here. As the kids sang, tears began to well up in my eyes. It was not the songs, nor even the singing that made me cry. It was the fact that Heavenly Father took the time to answer my question. I sat in the congregation and watched Garrett, now ten, up on the stand singing. He looked down at me and smiled, a little embarrassed to be getting older and still having to sing, yet little enough to still want to please me. The still small voice whispered to me, "You had children so that you could grow and learn from them. And he (Garrett) is the reason you wanted TWO more".
What amazing kids I have been blessed with! Even though they pack my calendar and take up every second of my day, occupy every thought in my head, and make me completely insane... I cannot imagine my life without them. Tonight, I consider what I am learning from each of my children.
I firmly believe, with all of my heart, that Garrett was my big brother in the pre-existance and that he came to earth to help me return to my Heavenly Father. He is so obedient and valiant. He is just one of those kids that has got it together. I have to admit that I suffer from a tremendous amout of pride when it comes to Garrett. He is very smart, athletic, handsome, spiritual, and yet humble. His third grade teacher, Mrs. Beck, tearfully described Garrett in a way that I will never forget. She said, "Garrett is such an amazing kid that he should be walking into a room and saying 'Here I am'. And yet Garrett is so humble that he walks into the room and all of the other kids say, 'There he is'". What a compliment that was to me, the mother of such a wonderful boy. Garrett teaches me to follow through with what I say. He never forgets anything I tell him. Garrett makes me keep up on my education and has recently taught me how to make a power point presentation, how to use my cell phone features (like text messaging), and what an "I" formation is in football. Garrett is always asking me questions that I do not know the answers to. I used to be able to bluff. But he has called me out too many times recently that now I have to say, "Let's go find out about that on the internet". Finally, Garrett is teaching me how to be competetive with myself and not with other people. I have a great deal of respect for Garrett when I watch him with his friends. All of his friends are very competetive. One friend in particular that is an only child. When that friend beats Garrett at something, he gets right in Garrett's face and yells, "I beat you. I am so much better at this". Garrett just smiles and says, "Good job bud". Then Garrett will get a look of determination on his face and try that much harder. If he wins, he just smiles...pleased with himself, but never gloats. I love this about him.
Grant is teaching me persistance and diligence. He is my child that is easily distracted and attention deficit to a small degree. He has to be asked to do everything at least 5 times. Grant makes me remember to enjoy everything about life. There is wonder in everything he looks at. He can find the amazing detail in a cockroach...just before he kills it. He studies every aspect of the pictures in a book while he reads it and questions why the illustrator chose to add certain elements to a page. Grant is very loving and complimentary. He is always telling me I look nice, or that I am a great mom. Grant makes me feel so good about myself (except when it comes to my cooking). Grant is a friend to everyone, yet is my one child that is content to play by himself. Grant was sent to me to teach me how to be sensitive and affectionate. Grant loves to be held, rocked, hugged, cuddled, and kissed. He is teaching me that there is more to life than work and schedules... and I love him for that.
Gracie is teaching me PATIENCE!!!!! She is my child that will ask for something and before I have had a chance to process the request in my mind, has already asked me for it 3 more times. She is my child that argues about what she wears, how we do her hair, when she goes to bed, what is on the radio, where we are going, what we are buying at the store, etc., etc., etc. She talks NON-STOP...whether you are listening or not. And as her Grandpa Hyde says, "If she's not talking, she's singing". She loves the sound of her own voice. Gracie teaches me how to be organized and more observant. She knows everyone's schedules better than I do. She knows where everything is. She watches every move we make and listens to everything we say and can recount the details of any conversation. Gracie is the boys other mother. She tells them where to be, what to wear, and how to behave (And to be honest, they are more afraid of her than me). I love that Gracie has no fear. She is so strong and stubborn and if we can just get her going in the right direction... she will never venture from her decided path.
Motherhood is truly a gift from our Heavely Father. Our purpose here on earth is to develop God-like qualities. I can affirm that the qualities I am developing from being a mother, obedience, humility, diligence, love, patience, organization, and just plain determination to survive another day, are qualities that our Father has perfected. Although I am NO WHERE near perfection... and do not even claim to have developed an inkling of any of these qualities... I do know that I love being a mother and learning from my children.
My favorite part of being a mother is:
1. Having my children lay at my feet while we enjoy a good book together.
2. Playing catch with my boys during baseball season.
3. Listening to my children talk about things that excite them (Sports- Garrett, Pokemon- Grant, and High School Musical- Gracie)
4. Re-plays! In our house our kids re-play, in slow motion, great events of the day.
5. Family Game Nights that include 5 Crowns, Chickenfoot, Perudo and Settlers
6. Not being able to part with my glider-rocker, because after owning it for ten years, I still use it to rock one of my kids almost every day.
7. Healing injuries with a simple touch from my lips.
8. Parent/Teacher conferences. I love hearing someone else brag about my kids.
9. Attending football, soccer, basketball and baseball games.
10. BEDTIME! I always love my kids the most when they are all asleep and snoring (with the exception of Grant) in their beds.
So having said all of that, let me wish all of my fellow bloggers Happy Mother's Day! (Well, with the exception of Brent who can also be considered a blogger... but DUDE... I won't tell any of your friends about this. However, they were all probably engaged once too and had to do all of this crap to impress their future spouse. Just five more weeks man, hang in there. Just kidding Brent, we love you and we absolutely LOVE your posts).
