Blue Fields of (depends on who you talk to)

People will always ask me why I don't go on fishing trips with Russ...the truth of the matter is, Russ is a crazed mad man when it comes to fishing.  An ideal fishing day for him is to get out on the water before the sun comes up.  Fish ALL FREAKING DAY with no breaks to eat, rest, or use the restroom.  You climb through nasty bushes, over rough terrain, wade in icy rivers, and swim through crocodile infested lagoons, whatever it takes to find the fish.  On these fishing adventures you meet wild beasts, creepy (biting) insects, and strange animals you didn't even know existed in the animal kingdom.  None of this matters, catching fish is the most important thing and you do not stop fishing until it is dark and you can no longer see your fly in the water.  Believe me, I have been on a couple of small trips with him in which this was the case, and it has absolutely ruined the sport for me.  However, Russ has luckily hooked up with a couple other fly-fishermen...just like him.  They don't care about the conditions surrounding their fishing trips, as long as there are fish to be caught.
I don't get overly anxious about their adventures anymore.  He is usually pretty good at communicating with me throughout his adventures via facetime or satellite phone.  His trips are well planned.  They have guides and are surrounded with people who know the area like the back of their hands.  It comforts me and I can actually sleep at night these days.
But, I must say this last trip was not a very feel good time for me.  Russ and 3 of his insane fishing friends flew to Blue Fields (of happiness?), Nicaragua for a week.  Prior to leaving, they discussed the lodging situation with the people in Nicaragua.  They would be eating sea turtle, possibly horse, and who knew what else.  Needless to say, we loaded Russ up with some freeze dried meals and tons of snacks.  There would be no such services as wi-fi, so they were taking a satellite phone with them.  But, it wouldn't be turned on at all times.  Russ would  check in with each day, but I couldn't reach him if there was an emergency at home.  He left, and I was nervous.
Then the calls started coming in.  "I have no idea where the freak I am!  I couldn't find my way out of here if I had weeks to do it.  We are in the middle of the sticks in some jungle.  The fish are enormous!".  Next, "We had sea turtle for dinner, it was actually pretty good.  I think a cow was in heat outside my window all night... didn't get a second of sleep.  We are seeing hundreds of fish, just can't land them.".  The following call, "I've got the 'red-eye' (diarrhea) something fierce!  I feel like I have the flu.  I haven't been able to fish all day".  Luckily, he was traveling with two doctors who were smart enough to carry some STRONG antibiotics with them.  "Feeling much better. I am sleeping with a bug net over my bed, but there are usually more bugs on the inside of the net that on the outside. Still having fun and hoping to hook into some of the big ones".  "For our shower we have a couple of 5 gallon buckets of cold water in an out-house type building", and "I am so sun-burned".  Etc., etc., etc.  I was miserable just imagining being there and I was very anxious for him to get home.  He, however, loved almost every minute of the adventure. None of those things bothered him, except the day of illness.
So, if you every wonder why I do not accompany him on his great outdoor adventures... Blue Fields (of Hell) is just one reason I choose to stay in the comforts of my own home.